Couple's Identity

So today I met with a very smart man who told me that as a newlywed my most important job is to create a new identity with my husband. A couple's identity to be specific. It is no longer acceptable to just breeze through life giving no thought to how I want to show up in the world as a couple. If I choose not to do it usually one person becomes submissive and one dominant and that is how a mid life crisis can take place by one person feeling trapped by the other. Okay, extreme but you get the point.

A new couple's identity. I am not even sure I was this deliberate with my own, individual identity so I am not quite sure I have the experience necessary to take on such a task. Do I go to a class to learn how to build a couple's identity? I can see it now. I go to the local community college and I sign up for a continuing ed class (hey- I already have my bachelor's degree) titled "How to Build an Identity in a Saturday Afternoon." Cool. I pay $50 and poof! Couple's identity complete.

On a more serious note, I like the idea he is getting at here. The ability to release self and enter into something much bigger, something much more powerful. The ability to, with a partner, feel that release of ego. It is using your relationship to further your practice of burning of ego and realizing the oneness we all have to what is around us. It is looking at how what you do and how you act on a daily basis is in service of something much bigger than yourself...something in service of your marriage. If I take surf lessons and release stress and tension on a regular basis and connect with who I am how does that make me a better partner and how can that service my relationship?

Moving on to thoughts on the CI. I want to show up with love, strength, openness and courage. I want this for my couple's identity so that when as an individual I feel weak I know that I have a place to go to gather strength and be bigger than my individual self. I want something so powerful to tap into....ohhh...I like the idea of tapping into the source. Cool. That has to be somewhere in the CI. I want a source I can tap into that fuels my soul even when as an individual I can't.

Enough on the CI for now. Time to let the ideas sit and come back for more later.